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Cat 101

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cat 101All feline-inclined creatures in this household take note: This is a proper manner in which a cat true to his species may sleep.

Not stretched out like someone has you on the rack. Not belly up to the sky like roadkill. Not in any of those doglike positions your fur feels like plopping down in, your legs all helter skelter, your tail flying off wherever.

This cozy curled-up pose is acceptable. Or sitting up with your paws tucked in front.

This is your final warning. Kitty demerits and other pet penalties will be meted out for further offenses.

bumper sticker [] - monarda

Written by macheide

25 January 2009 at 5:39 pm

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Chicken Soup for the Stale

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Yes stale. When I’m feeling fine, I can stay in one corner of my room for days without so much as a blink. But catch me a cold, and I catch cabin fever faster than my nightstand can clutter itself up with my orange juice and soup bowls and all. So my bed’s stale, this room’s gone stale, and it’s all rubbing off on me.

That’s my version of a cold remedy there: Campbell’s canned cream of chicken soup with a can of whole milk; shredded cheese; two generous soup spoons of sour cream; a can of V8 juice; plenty of pepper and a dash of salt. Yum.

Settling down to let it recuperate me to freshness while I watch Lance Armstrong cycle his way down under.

bumper sticker [] - termite

Written by macheide

25 January 2009 at 3:29 pm

Posted in termite

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Sick Leave

I sound like a frog. My chest feels like a bog. My head’s in a fog. And I don’t much care to even use the time off to turn that into my occasional limerick.

So just drop my sick leave bank balance down to two and a half weeks, and wake me up after this day has done its business on everyone else.

//] - specimen

Written by macheide

23 January 2009 at 7:15 am

Posted in specimen

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Garage Door Fix

Now our garage door is
messed up. I am three [tired] of
being i [a] homeowner. Too
many things to fix.

text msg from Susan, 10:31am


I actually fixed something!! Real handymen will see this and snort at the simplicity. But my special knack is always being able to find the wrong way to install something or fix something or have any handyman business to do with something. So my normal response to the text message I received at the office this morning would have been to head to the web to find me a garage door repairman. Or maybe even to just plain get a new garage door opener – even with all my usual blundering, I’ve managed to install two during my lifetime. But back at the house, I gallantly marched out to the garage, fully expecting to screw up yet another handyman task. Instead, for the first time in my life, I managed to fix something!

bumper sticker [] - homeowner

Written by macheide

22 January 2009 at 3:50 pm

Posted in homeowner

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Milk Day

We’re not going to that parade. We get to recycle. We won’t sit around the emergency room all day. We get to show good will.

And do whatever we want.

Celebrate the final day of a failed government. Lament yesterday’s extinction of two bird species. Clean Gertie’s cage. Commemorate Edgar Allen’s 200th. Go out skateboarding.

Catch up on my writing, maybe stretch into another chapter or two. Clean up revisions on the metric. Read at least nine poems. Putter.

Sit outside in the sun. Walk. Sleep off this headache. Rest.

Drink milk. Drink a lot of milk. It’s a good day to drink milk.

bumper sticker [] - bedhead

Written by macheide

19 January 2009 at 8:48 am

Posted in bedhead

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License to Skill

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Lost this morning’s dream on the force of last night’s closing music, Dylan channeling Marley, filling the corners of the room like Saturday morning’s first light.

I need to make some concrete progress today, make it a day to look back at like when I used to bicycle centuries without complaint. Focus on things I can get done, things I do well. Kickstart this year in a meaningful direction. A predictable direction, one might even say. It can be done, no BS.

Now that I’ve got the steam cleaner unclogged, today would be good for clogging it up again. And for vacuuming the pool, which looks like it’s been collecting enough debris to make birds’ nests for the entire neighborhood. And to clean my nightstand . . . again. And maybe give Gertie a clean cage to start her year out on the same page. All these things I can do, then still have enough time left for making more of the day, if I don’t spend all morning lounging over the Journal (from IE, no less, managing to clear out some of the hairballs accumulating in my e-mail inbox).

I’ll start reorganizing the files on Jeanette. The 20+ gig she still has open is more than adequate, of course; but it’s amazing how quickly I can fill trunks in her attic. Like, still getting used to camera settings, so feeding her a 1.7gig video from the UH bowl win (which I’ll maybe delete anyway, since it failed to capture what I had hoped to record) – no more than a dozen more of those, and Jeanette would be all bloated out. Given how I see Jeanette growing, today might be as good a time as any to open up some more reliable on-line storage than what I’ve been using.

I will write more on the book today. Materially more. Without allowing myself to get distracted too much by background research: I know I still need to find what I was looking for yesterday (I can’t possibly be the only one on the face of the planet who remembers the spark that set Black Monday off), but I can’t let that slow me down on the writing itself.

Your to do list looks like you’re likely to get more done today than I might. Want to trade?

bumper sticker [] - bedhead

Written by macheide

3 January 2009 at 7:49 am

Posted in bedhead

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Decorating It All Up

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When do you put your decorations up?

christmas meme from susan


The day after Thanksgiving. That’s one of our family traditions. With emphasis on the family, mom. It’s not about the decorations: it’s about the love shared throughout this season. Let others show us “what Thanksgiving is all about” by lining up at Walmart at 3am to stampede their separate ways fighting the crowds for those discounts they’d like Christmas to be about. We’re here spending the day with each other launching a season of spending time together.

We start putting it all back up in the closet and the garage the day after Christmas. Today we’ll be taking down the living room tree. (Tell me, if the raw commercialism of Black Friday’s stampedes for those early holiday discounts is what Thanksgiving is all about, then those malls crowded this past week with shoppers doing their gift exchanges to get what they really wanted, is that what Christmas is all about?)

bumper sticker [] - not me

Written by macheide

31 December 2008 at 1:01 am

Posted in not meme

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