aftermath

we dream, we create, we change, we love

Archive for the ‘Adrien’ Category

More Is Less

leave a comment »

IMG_0358

 

Took me near two months, but I’m finally back to keeping myself lying down 6+ hours at night, trying to get myself some decent sleep.

For about two months before the election and well past a month after, 2-3 hours was the standard for me. Stress . . . mind racing . . . too much to get done . . . garden-variety insomnia . . . plus all sorts of strange diversions. I had every reason not to sleep; and when I ran out of all those reasons, I made up new ones.

One of my current doctors — a key doctor who kept me alive through my shenanigans — was not amused. He scratched my annual check-in appointment and required me to see him again after 6 weeks, giving me a few health-related assignments for that stretch. Then when I didn’t do quite as well as I was supposed to for that check-up, set my next appointment 3 months out, still not giving me that 1-year free rein. And if I don’t get cracking, he might take me back down to a monthly appointment the next time I see him.

Because although I’m getting better hours in the bed, I’m still not back to good sleep yet. This morning I could have just as well been up after 3am: my chart’s confusion about what happened after that hour is hiding that I lay mostly awake for over 4 hours, very still while meditating, but quite awake, very much awake.

And I only put up with my CPAP for 3.3 hours after around 11:30pm last night, another night failing to reach the 4-hour quota the doctor wants. And the equipment registered an AHI of 14.5 during that period, half the level I was averaging a few years ago, but still triple where the doctor wants me to be.

Eh, maybe it’s time for me to resuscitate some of my old sleep routines.

//www.internetbumperstickers.com] - sleeper
Advertisements

Written by macheide

24 November 2017 at 8:23 am

Posted in Adrien, sleeper

Tagged with , , ,

By Any Other Words, No Knows

leave a comment »

I’ve launched yet another personal project that I’ll never finish. And is like so many of my other projects, insofar as it will serve no practical purpose, other than to indulge in some fun that rather likely will be unique to me.

I am going to learn to say “I don’t know” in as many different languages as I can.

 

So far, I know how to say the phrase in three beyond my native tongue: Spanish, French and Albanian. I used to know how to say it in Russian — so that will be the first I’ll add to my list, resuscitating it from a brief college flirtation with maybe learning enough to get me into some good chess manuals, alas to no avail.

This personal project actually began back in high school, as I gradually lost just about all the Spanish they forcefed us hoping to encourage Latin American relations in the 60s back before immigration issues cast its shadows. By the time I gave up trying to stop the erosion in my brain, I had retained only a few useless words like albondigas and the final two phrases that got me by: “Tengo que ir al baño” and “No lo sé.” And it’s long been a matter of inconsequential personal pride to me that confessing my ignorance remains the only scrap from any language I’ve given any time.

Only now, 50 years after not knowing in Spanish, has it occurred to me that it might be fun to not know in a bunch of other languages. That, and giving myself some variation, like learning how to say “I know nothing.”

I’ll build this via pages like I’ve done with other posts. So call this first page Not Knowing English

  • “I don’t know.” — If I had an automatic counter installed, I’d begin keeping track of how many times I admit this out loud, and what I do about it. With the goal of making the incidence high, and accelerating. But with a proactive strategy of working to know.

And then —

  1. Not Knowing Spanish
  2. Not Knowing French
  3. Not Knowing Albanian
  4. Not Knowing Russian
  5. Not Knowing Finnish
  6. Not Knowing German
  7. Not Knowing Italian

Next? Give me a few years at this little diversion, and I’ll seriously be able to speak my piece, then ask that old rhetorical question, “Which word did you not understand?”

bumper sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com] - undone

Written by macheide

23 November 2017 at 12:15 pm

Posted in Adrien, undone

Tagged with , ,

Those Days

with one comment

//www.internetbumperstickers.com] - unfit

I’ll be walking again. Seriously. To morrow. You’ll know when I arrive.

Written by macheide

23 November 2017 at 7:27 am

Posted in Adrien, unfit

Tagged with ,

Thanks To Morrow

with 2 comments

Today while getting around to delivering that donation I’ve been holding, I will check my in-box, too easily forgotten during this relaxing holiday week away from most of the maelstrom into which these past two months have been thrown. To morrow, watch for some degree of regularity to return to my routines. You’ll know what to look for.

Today I will complete my first draft of a certain actuarial review, correcting the most egregious of the numerous critical errors in a so-called “reserve study” recently sold to an unsuspecting victim. To morrow, watch for other errors to be corrected, including the dangerous void in which companies that hawk such studies operate. You’ll known when they stop asking what I think.

Today I will give up waiting for someone else to say something, so will investigate certain aspects of our e-mail policy. Watch for me to not be at all amused. You’ll know when it stops.

Today I will add a few more companies’ annual updates to my pension disclosure database. Tomorrow, watch for an early prediction of aggregate pension cost for the year that will come closer than the flawed guesses made by all the major consulting firms. You’ll know whom not to believe.

Today I will know the second verse of Baby It’s Cold Outside as well as I am now familiar with the first. To morrow, watch for me to get serious on my own way with it. You’ll know when you hear it.

Today I will address the envelopes for several dozen more Christmas cards. To morrow, watch for the tree to go up in our living room. You’ll know when we’re lit.

Today I will begin a Lifelapse series of sunrises down the fairway of our Hole #4. Tomorrow watch for a new morning. You’ll know it’s with you.

Today I will wind up massive reorganization of my private stationery store. To morrow, watch for my electronic versions to race to catch up. You’ll know it when you see it.

Today I will walk more than 10k steps, if I have to get lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood doing so. To morrow, watch for me to launch another virtual walk up to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, this time with hopes of making it there and well enough beyond. You’ll know when I get there.

Today I will write a villanelle, having recently dusted the rust off some memories of how I was taught how to at least make a knowing stab at it. To morrow, watch for a recitation to emerge. You’ll know where to look for it.

Today I will play my first game of chess in decades, even if only against my iPhone’s Play Magnus app . . . and of course, will lose. To morrow watch for me to at least think about doing the same for Gomoku, then eventually back to Go. Watch for me to pass Go running. You’ll know what that gets me.

Today I will skim the front pages of both sections of Wall Street Journal that landed in our driveway this morning. Today I will read their “What’s News” column and dip into stories that catch my eye. Today I will walk through all pages on a search for articles that would matter to a pension research actuary. Today I will read one article beginning to end, maybe two, maybe even three. Today I will follow up with research down yet another hallway. Today I will ink in a few words on the WSJ crossword puzzle. Tomorrow watch for a second reading as the Journal takes the day off. You’ll find today’s beaten copy folded up in my main satchel.

Today I will begin a new Bic ballpoint sketch. Tomorrow watch for it to pick up depth. You’ll see through it.

Today I will do whatever I can to help with the cooking. To morrow watch for me to do whatever I can to keep from eating myself back up to where I was last year this time. You’ll know when I’m back on the floor.

Today I will study the Homeowner’s Manual for our Lennox thermostat. To morrow watch for reestablishment of the connection with my iPhone. You’ll feel all warm inside.

Today I will make the bed. Today I will get the trash and recycling out to the street for Wednesday pick-up. Today I will again use that new attachment we got for our vacuum cleaner. To morrow watch for me to start my choreography early and end late. You’ll know it’s never done.

Today I will draft another post for aftermath. Tomorrow watch for it to walk into the room with a pencil in its hand. You’ll know something is happening, but you won’t know what it is.

Today I will remember Mrs. Bean being told The News. To morrow watch for us to forget our history all over again. You’ll know when it repeats.

Today I will look for another place to dump the garbage. To morrow watch for me to have another Thanksgiving dinner that can’t be beat. You’ll know what I’m singing a bar of and walkin’ out.

Today I will add three new actions to my task list for every one I complete. To morrow watch for me to do the same. You’ll know it’s me.

bumper sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com] - to morrow

Written by macheide

22 November 2017 at 5:17 am

Posted in Adrien, to morrow

PotCPMCA

leave a comment »

Let’s add a new tag to aftermath‘s ragtag collection: PotCPMCA. And make PotCPMCA one of this journal’s categories as well.

Sixty days ago I was elected to be President for the Board of the homeowners association of the community in which I reside.

Mainly, it means that most of those other aftermath tags will see little if any action during the next 22 months. They said it would settle down after the first month? So far it has only gotten more hectic and convoluted and time-consuming.

I don’t really want to have this journal be hijacked by one single focus. If there has been any one thing characteristic of who I am and what I do through my entire life since my earliest memories, it has been that I have had widely scattered interests and skills and initiatives and hobbies and all. Even for the 40 years I worked as a pension actuary, I kept a full plate of non-actuarial activities; and even in my actuarial career, the trademark of my career was that I had extensive experience in a very diverse spread of professional experiences.

I don’t want to lose that. It is what makes it fun for me.

So I’ll strive to keep use of the PotCPMCA tag tamed in this journal. But if that comes at the expense of journalling anything at all, worry . . . then watch for me to emerge again in late September 2019, when I’ll be truly and completely retired!

bumper sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com] - PotCPMCA

Written by macheide

19 November 2017 at 6:42 pm

Posted in Adrien, PotCPMCA

Tagged with , , ,

Retired

leave a comment »

I have retired from the workforce.

For my past 41 years, I have been a leader in retirement plans and retirement planning, the last 10 of those years working for the most hated employer on the face of the planet.

For my next 41 years, I will be immersed in retirement life and retirement living, expecting to spend all of those years in the most beloved community on the face of the planet.

bumper sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com] - retired

Written by macheide

8 July 2017 at 4:03 am

Posted in Adrien, retired

Tagged with

Let’s Get Crackin’

with one comment

whipI now own a bullwhip! Thank you, SuziQ!

For the community event being planned for this coming September, one of the songs I’ll be singing is Ghost Riders in the Sky, ranked as one of the Top 100 Western songs of all time. I’ve been coming along pretty well on practicing the song itself, so it’s come time to work on gear and such. Like, maybe finally getting myself another pair of boots. And can I really do this without a cowboy hat?

Watch out, it’s Tex!!!

Written by macheide

19 June 2015 at 6:58 pm

Posted in Adrien

Tagged with ,