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Archive for January 1st, 2009

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Waking thought, neither dream nor the first conscious thought, rather the words that were just there on the edge between sleep and being awake, as evident as if spoken aloud: the words I’ve used as this post’s title.

Along with what it was attached to, again not as though I had dreamed this, nor as though I had to decipher what that title meant. It was just there beneath those two words, like the body beneath the blanket: that if I do get this Inner Actuary book published, I’d like to take advantage of the publisher contacts and the momentum to turn right around and push out a revised edition of the nondiscrimination book.

That waking thought lasts about as long as it takes for me to roll out of bed and make it to the bathroom. By then I’m awake enough to remember that I can not publish a book on nondiscrimination while I remain employed by the IRS. A balloon inside my head gets a little hole in it, slowly deflates, goes limp. Eh, whatever. I’ll use the momentum to at least get the revised edition ready to go, then just work on maintaining the publisher contacts by working through one of the dozens of other books I’ve dreamed of writing, then have the nondiscrimination book ready to go the day I leave the IRS.

That bedhead plan lasts about as long as it takes me to return from the bathroom to relax in my rocking chair with what’s left of last night’s coffee. By then I’m awake enough to remember that by the time I am finished working with the IRS, there won’t be enough pension plans left for any book on nondiscrimination to have much of a market. Another balloon inside my head gets a little hole in it, slowly deflates, goes limp. Eh, whatever. I’ll shift the focus of the book toward nondiscrimination as applied to profit-sharing and 401(k) plans, if those survive the current financial collapse, fill the book out with nondiscrimination for the few dinosaur DB plans, and the publisher won’t know enough to say no anyway.

That new year’s plan last about as long as it takes me to pop up out of my rocking chair to let Dylan out, discover I can’t ease into the holiday in the peaceful cocoon of the family room since Kelly has taken over there, then waste my first writing of the year on this post instead of working on Inner Actuary drafting, before I realize I’m already behind schedule. I should have been awake and working four or five hours ago. Another balloon inside my head gets a little hole in it, slowly deflates, goes limp. Eh, whatever.

I collect up all the loose rubber and start making myself a set of bicycle tires.

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Written by macheide

1 January 2009 at 10:06 am

Posted in littérateur