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Archive for January 9th, 2007

i don’t die

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i don’t really die if i have a dream in which i’m falling and i hit the bottom

i felt as though i had. there was no pain, but then again there was no feeling at all, so at first i thought that the impact had killed me instantly so that i had not felt the instant of death at all. there was a blackness like none i have ever seen or felt before, not even in a dream, thick and real around me like a dense fog. after some time alone in it with only an occasional word or two of thought, i felt the impulse to reach out to see if it were only a dream. it seemed as though i had to fight to crawl out of it and then felt the weight of it deep into the morning, but yes it was a dream. unless this is the dream that followed yet another death upon death upon death

we had been heading to pennhurst, back along the curvy wooded road, cliff to our right, me in the front passenger’s seat, kelly in back, suziq driving. she was on her cell phone talking to a nurse at the facility ahead, trying to make certain that brian would be handling the charges for special psych tests he had requested for jen. i had already tried to warn suziq several times as she had veered too close to a curve while focused on her conversation

then i started quickly warning “mom, mom, mom” as she approached a sharp curve far too fast as her conversation with the nurse reached a critical point, and she drove straight out over the cliff. as the car arched through the air toward the trees below, suziq was still so unaware of what had happened that she was confused why the steering wheel was not seeming to respond and turn the car – she thought she was still driving on a road. i watched the trees accelerate toward us, then all went black

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Written by macheide

9 January 2007 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra