aftermath

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coffin shipping

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back at sfhs during first year of college, eating lunch with th reb in th mbl cafeteria. in line for food, was so impatient that i ate a container of yogurt while still in line. didn’t find anything else i wanted, so at the end of th line i had nothing on my tray. i went back for another yogurt and then paid for 2

i sat down with th reb in th “actuarial” section. i group of girls who knew her in high school came and put other things to eat on my tray. they expressed concern over my weight, wanted me to eat more

but when they withdrew, th reb whispered to me that something else was afoot. a group of them had banded together in an informal organization focused on contempt for me because, in Marianne’s word’s, I would always only think and never do. i found that notion ridiculous: what did they want from me? what obligation had i to prove anything to them? besides, their accusation was absurd and false. i thought secretly of what proof th reb herself had against that claim, but i scorned th impulse to prove myself to them

i was aware that as marianne and one of her friends walked around th cafeteria, their eyes were continually on me, but i tried to ignore it. they waited behind th wall by th glass in th hall while we finished our lunch, as if hoping to trap me in some action

someone came in to lunch with his girlfriend. i borrowed his 10-speed bicycle and started pedaling around th tables. had to downshift a few gears. stopped to talk briefly with deb kohn. stepped outside on th ledge on th other side of th windows and looked down on th snow below

then i pedaled off again. th cafeteria was clear of tables now, and sloped up in two planes from th center aisle. i pedaled up toward where th lunch lines usually were, then slowed and let th bike drift backward a few feet

th bike’s owner came up and i gave his bike back to him. i rejoined th reb and we left. left mbl to walk down broad toward th subway. hitched a ride with some other people as on a bus, but it was a van. i was with wayne now. we stopped at one of th newstands to pick up three large wooden crates

i noticed writing on th crates which identified them as coffins containing dead bodies, being taken to a morgue. wayne was appalled and jumped off th truck. i only laughed and talked with th workers shifting th crates about. we took only two, leaving one behind

th crate i was leaning against: its “door” came ajar. i didn’t think it could have a body inside if it was so insecurely fastened. th men said no, only th one they were holding held a body. i glanced inside th one with th slightly open door, there were toold inside

[th following evening i received a call from mf. about th same time i was dreaming this dream, he had received a phone call: his brother ray had died in an auto accident in louisiana. ray’s body and belongings were to be shipped to massachusetts for th funeral. th reb and i went for th viewing, and despite the circumstances for th gathering we had a good time with th family. wayne was supposed to be there, but he didn’t show]

Bumper Sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com/] - oneirra

Written by macheide

18 January 1977 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

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