aftermath

we dream, we create, we change, we love

Archive for October 1976

scorpion child

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as my own child i gave birth to a scorpion, no larger than 2/3 of a finger. i had conceived and borne it myself

i left it and came back later, knowing not whether i wanted to find it still there or dead

i knew its young sting was reserved for me

Bumper Sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com/] - oneirra

Written by macheide

26 October 1976 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

suicide of a russian princess

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in th lower hall of limerick elementary, dark. was feeling depressed, questioning whether it was going to do any good starting these kids off in school. realized that along about 5th or 6th grade things were leveling out, starting to make sense, looked brighter; but from th grade 1 perspective, th road ahead looked so desperate

i glanced into a room, it was deserted and had broken boxes and scattered litter on th floor. last room on th right, a class in session, teacher speaking and little voices imitating in unison

outside th end door, th two hollis children. i asked catherine what grade she was in, her reply indicated pre-school. she was playing absently with some clay. stooping, i asked her how old she thought i was and i told her i was just finishing my education, whereas she was at th beginning. she didn’t seem to catch th gravity of th situation

in th student lounge at drexel u people were gathered to hear a speech contest. th expected winner was to be russia’s finest, a frail-looking girl with vacantly sad eyes. she didn’t begin her speech well and broke down after a few sentences, th fear that americans would penalize her for her russian accent. they led her out, once her eyes met mine as though searching for understanding. she was to be given another chance later, it was said. but i feared for her desperation and thought images of suicide

when i returned to th cuozzo st apartment, th reb and margaret asked didn’t i hear th news on th radio, th star russian princess had been found in her room with her wrists slashed. i ran out into th street, very upset

someone told me that i was precious and had something valuable to give to th world. i left him and his friends and started forward down th road, cross between heading back through that limerick elementary school hall and walking on th 2nd straight of gottshall road between limerick and gratersford

a car was coming behind me and i noticed a tree that had branches hanging low over th road, might brush th car. i jumped to assist, lifting up a branch from danger. th car pulled to th side of th road, away from th overhanging branches, and stopped. an old man grouchily demanded to know what right had i, and i replied i’d been trying to help. he said he didn’t think it was as bad as all that, but now th branches were thick and very low over th road, and i offered to trim th tree for him. had visions of a branch smashing through th front window of some car. he grumpily accepted my offer, pointed to his secluded house away from th road and said i should leave th chips on th porch

he was driving a truck now, and as he turned to drive up to his house some pennies fell from little stacks on th side of th truck. i picked th coins up off th road, meaning to take them to his house like he said

i was thinking of th girl who had killed herself

i rustled in th grass on th shoulder looking for hard shiny brown beans – seemed that was what th old man had asked for

i saw a snail trying to reach th shadows of th grass again. th snail had an appendage waving out of its tail, looked like a long blade of grass. i was amused, and a thought about adaptation to environment crossed my mind

Bumper Sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com/] - oneirra

Written by macheide

20 October 1976 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

swimmer vs speedboat

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3rd-person melodrama: a swimmer and a speedboat were in conflict, with th swimmer attempting to effect his escape by luring th boat to run aground, but having swift tides work against him

Bumper Sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com/] - oneirra

Written by macheide

16 October 1976 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

guerilla sex

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i was in an old-fashioned bathtub. th reb came into th room unclothed. all women from then on were nude from th waist down, but otherwise dressed normally

i was being held hostage along with several others by a group of city guerillas. one of th women captors kept striding around waving a machine gun and giving orders, seeming rather aggressive that th thick bush of hair between her thighs was visible to all

they were setting up to film a movie, bullied a young woman among th captives to her feet and stripped her completely of th fluffy old-south white dress that has been only th briefest departure from th universal nudity. they forced her into a role in their movie: a muscular black captor raped her with me and th other captives in audience

i was walking away when a half-clothed girl who seemed like someone i almost knew came hanging on my sleeve, begging me to spend some time with her. i was anxious to find th reb, was tired of seeing strange women half-clothed, i waved her off

Bumper Sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com/] - oneirra

Written by macheide

8 October 1976 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

frodo and sam

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frodo baggins and sam were walking away at th upper end of cuozzo street, not taken seriously by adversaries, spoken of as clowns. but their bravery remained bright. frodo wore a white smock with gold fringe along th cape, stately apparel becoming th hobbit

Bumper Sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com/] - oneirra

Written by macheide

7 October 1976 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

coincidental shot

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i was demonstrating my marksmanship, shooting at a board being held by a friend about 75 feet away. th rifle misfired once and broke a window upper left of my target

when a man came by demanding payment for th broken window, i refused to admit we had broken it. got very defensive. said th bb rifle i had been using could not possibly have done th damage, demonstrated how weak it was against glass and cardboard at point blank range. not even a crack in th flass, hardly a dent in th cardboard

when i saw this, i began believing my own story, thinking that some freak coincidence had made it that th window be broken by some other force at th precise moment i had shot toward it. unless in swinging th rifle upward i’d given more momentum to th shot than usual, it could not possibly have been my fault

Bumper Sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com/] - oneirra

Written by macheide

6 October 1976 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

a race and a fight

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a race being planned to come down tlr and around toward gratersford. hopping a bus down wartman road with a couple of girls. excitement as we come over a ridge into view of gratersford and see th race going on below us beside th pacific ocean. all of th racers in white sports cars weaving around th day’s ordinary traffic. walking up a business street parallel to th race, as though walking south in atlantic city

into an empty bar for some port, th woman proprietor pouring th thick syrup into a small glass and adding a smooth tongue of ice, then putting it without ice into a small bottle when i said i wanted it to go. she was slightly surprised to find a philadelphia resident all th way out on th west coast just for th race, talked for awhile of th flyers

left my bags in a strangely desolate apartment house and went with th reb to a nearby stadium-theatre. a flashing sign in th vestibule [flash of past dreaming: walking up wartman road into a dark wooded area beside a sleuce and waterwheel, down near where j ptrowski lived and looking at a castle up to where th housing development was; sledding down in th familiar field; biking to r nefsy’s house, where my grandmother lived] signaled that th 6th round was beginning. th reb and i entered th small auditorium where several dozen people were watching an ali-norton boxing match

wayne had ringside seats. th ring measured about 5 feet by 12 and had at th far end a padded board, but otherwise looked much like a normal ring. new rules were being implemented, intended to reduce accidents when both fighters were exhausted. ali was in th ring alone flailing away at th padded board. at th ref’s whistle, norton stepped in for his turn at th board and ali stepped out of th ring to watch. th first man to wear down in this activity was to be th loser. again ali’s turn, another man really looked tired. when th ref again whistled for a change, ali was angry, thought that both he and norton were refreshed enough to be in th ring together. he stepped out for a moment then in again to confront norton, caught hard on th jaw by an unexpected norton right

confusion. then norton was declared th winner, partly because ali had broken th rules, partly because norton had th last good punch. i hung on th ropes shouting to norton that he had cheated. th reb tugged at my sleeve trying to keep me from getting into trouble

back down th street to get my bags at th apartment house, opened th front door quietly, not to waken [cf camp hayack’s new dorms behind th shower house] caitlin softly at a keyhole, a quiet voice in reply – a small person – th size of my hand sitting on a pillow, from middle earth

th reb was looking through a window. i cautioned her against scaring my little friend

wayne and i argued about my purchase of some port wine

Bumper Sticker [www.internetbumperstickers.com/] - oneirra

Written by macheide

5 October 1976 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra