aftermath

we dream, we create, we change, we love

Archive for February 1973

supposed to be where

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i was standing with about ten other people on th front steps of th student center. two women came out, one of them was soon leaning in against me. i noticed that she was shivering, so i let her huddle close, despite a few snide comments from some of th others on th steps around us. she later left with her friend, went downtown

at tlr, taking letters out back to be mailed, they were to be left in a pile on th edge of th field just below our property line. it was windy and icy outside, i remember seeing a dog slipping around on th ice

(from an afternoon nap: there were a number of events that took place in th upper two stories of a new four-story-plus-basement johnson house. parts of th added floors resembled a barn loft, other parts a synthesis of johnson house with shenawana hallways. no one rooming in those two floors, and no one was supposed to be there. i had climbed to th top of th stairs anyway, i could feel th dizziness of th height. i flicked some light switches, trying to puzzle wayne, who i knew was on th first floor. a hesitancy within th fun i was having: i didn’t want th johnsons to find me there if i wasn’t supposed to be there. later a dog – th johnson’s i think – got outside when i went out. he was like a furry, light tan huskie. he wasn’t supposed to be outside because th johnson’s weren’t home at th time. i tried to coax him back in, but never succeeded. and then i was back at tlr, typing something. wayne and i challenged each other to a game involving some strange arrangement of racing to sleep and awake again. th game was supposed to end at 7:00 – it was past 2:00 when we began – because jim had to get up to go to school. i sat down again and began typing out automatic writing, it was supposed to be part of my strategy against wayne. mf came in the door then, with mm, and i listened as they went into their bedroom, wanted to see if they were getting along alright with each other)

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Written by macheide

3 February 1973 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

scenic cabin

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rebecca and i were heading home on bicycles from some vague place above reading. we were on an expressway, looking around for either of two diagonal roads that would shortcut straight to home. we missed th first, th shortest one; if we didn’t make th second there would be a long trangular route home. we passed th second in a maze of roads at th outskirts of a city, but it was getting dark and we didn’t want to be out all night so we backtracked to look for th turnoff

we turned at a place where we thought it would be, but when we got down to ramp we found that it was only a driveway ending at th doorway of a “scenic cabin,” a tourist attraction in th shape of a ship’s bow. we went in anyway, just for a rest. i can remember hearing a barker’s voice calling out points of interest. while we were standing inside, a guy leaning against one wall started getting fresh with reb right in front of me. she was wearing a short dress and he tried caressing her legs with a foot. i pushed his foot aside with mine, a scuffle ensued

he soon retreated outside, wounded badly from th fight, cursing me as he left. i started worrying about when i’d have to go outside again, i was picturing him waiting for me in th shadows with a gun. i thought of picking up a stone on th way out, of using it to knock th gun from his hand; then i thought wryly of my poor aim, and i settled for rather dubious images of my body lying in some ditch

meanwhile some other guys were getting ready to go to sleep. during th fight th room had changed to one in a bju dorm. stan said we’d hold off on devotional reading until after th absent guy came back, mentioned that th guy had probably just lost his head in a fit of anger but would cool off soon. i was just relieved that i wouldn’t have to try to play serious games outside in th dark

taking problems to th hc eng dept, except th classrooms resembled th old second floor of sf jr high. i saw mr basney in th hall, but decided to look for leax. tim and i went into a classroom where, it was said, he would be teaching soon. i took a seat in th front, tim more to th back. when leax came, he started explaining a style of quiz which he was going to give: 1) everything was given a point value, even answers which would be wrong in a multiple-choice situation 2) point values were relative to each other according to difficulty 3) th best answers would be awarded th least points, so that on his ‘two-point” quiz th most favorable answers would add to less than two

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Written by macheide

2 February 1973 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra

one among four

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in th half-light of pre-dawn, rebecca and i were together on a single bed in johnson house room 5. naked, petting; there wasn’t a blanket over us. once we both thought we saw someone pass by th window and look through th blinds, we thought it was her mother. when i went to th window i saw chris out back, but we knew it hadn’t been him. but anyway, th window looks out on a roof, and we doubted that anyone would really go through th trouble of climbing up there to spy on us; there were easier ways to gain th same information. so we went back to bed

later when we got up, i went downstairs to mail four packages; two of them had to be fixed by one (of at least four) of th post ladies, made th packages suitable for mailing

i was walking through a field with a hc prof and a small group of students. seemed th prof was supposed to be giving a lecture, actually he was only downgrading and ridiculing bju. once he told us that they ask what each bj student gets high on, one of th four choices for answers being drugs, th other three choices being in their eyes of somewhat better repute. th hc prof then alleged that if a student marked “drugs” as an answer, bj would gather all its faculty around th offender and start a fire with a few pieces of paper on his head. i contested that, so th prof tried more credible attacks. but his serious attacks happened to concentrate on bju’s secret riot squad, about which he had only rumor to rely on, while i knew enough facts to contest him point by point, succeeding in showing his lack of actual knowledge without actually revealing any of th real secrets of th group

we had come inside th student center, and as if to test my claims of experience in th special program i was challenged to climb th support of th flight of one of th *wooden* stairs – there were four now. th prof and students then left, but i knew they’d be watching. i studied the task for a moment, then removed my boots and socks to give my feet better traction. without conscious thought to th matter, i continued undressing until i was entirely naked. noticed a familiar woman in th room, but she showed no sign that she had noticed me. i put my pants back on. i don’t recall actually climbing th support

later tim and i were battling others for position in a meal line on a back staircase

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Written by macheide

1 February 1973 at 4:04 am

Posted in oneirra